E025: Finding The Inner Confidence & Perspective To Rebuild Your Life with Claire Lomas MBE

When I hit the ground I knew I was paralysed. I know all those goals and dreams and ambitions I've got for the future just come to a grinding halt it's very easy to say no when you're feeling sorry for yourself sad and all the emotions that I went through. It'd be very easy to stay in the same for was thinking why me and dwelling on all the things I've lost

and I just went with the mindset. Every step will get me a step closer to the finish. It took me 17 days but I was out there all day making my way to the finish line. And the support that I got when I was out there still makes me feel emotional now because it's just surreal.

Welcome, I'm Scott Radford versus the performance hackers and today's guest Claire lo mas MBE went from being a competitive athlete as a horse rider to being paralysed from the chest down after an accident on her horse during competition. In that moment, her life changed forever. But instead of letting a disability define her, she actually used it to powerfully redefine her life, showing the strength and determination and courage to rebuild her life. Claire has completed multiple endurance races in both pioneering robotic suits and hand cycles, learn to ride motorbikes and fly planes probably better than me, and was awarded an MBE for raising funds and awareness to spinal cord charities. Her energy and mindset is truly inspiring. This is really the reason why I do this podcast, so I can't wait to share it with you. Without further ado, Claire lo mas MBE.

Claire, thank you so much for being on the show today. Really appreciate it. That's alright, no problem. You've been someone who's demonstrated over your life and over your story from what I've read is someone who loves pushing the boundaries. I'm just kind of curious, was that present in your childhood? Yeah, I mean, I had a life changing accident. And I remember one of the things that I thought very early on is how was I ever going to replace the sport that I loved so much, and push me out of my comfort zone? Most weekends I'd be competing. So yeah, I think it came from, from early on. However, I wasn't the bravest child. It's really been a process of learning and taking time to develop myself my confidence to be able to do the things that I do, all the way through my life. And we'll definitely get on to that. Because you you said there before you became a quite an accomplished rider early on, and you were saying that you competed at Burghley Horse Trials, which is I guess, the pinnacle for Escot Aryans and horse riders. I'm quite curious if I'd have met a young Claire, what would she have said her aspirations were without a doubt it was to get to Bernie Horse Trials. I went to school in Stamford in Lincolnshire, and there's the back of where I went to school. So it was my childhood dream and I rode ponies. Well, as soon as I was on my feet walk and I was on ponies, and eventually got into the sport of eventing and very early I was out there competing probably from about 1312 or 13, lower level and, and to actually get there and be riding there felt like all my dreams are coming true. It had been my goal for for many years alongside being a chiropractor, I've been to university and got my degree. So you know, had my sport and my business that I'd set up before had that life changing accident. There's a quote by James Allen that I absolutely love. It says adversity does not build character, it reveals it. I'm kind of curious to understand whether some main influences in your life growing up that sort of informed who you are and how you're able to display that character to rebuild your life again after the accident. Yeah, I think parents are my biggest role models. They taught me a lot still. And then I was taught by Lucinda Greene, who's a top event rider. And I left my lessons with her. And the thing like even now, she's a big part of my life. He doesn't teach me don't ride now. But I still have a voice in my head when I'm doing some of the challenges that I've taken on since and she was very black and white with how she taught and it's pretty straightforward. And if anyone known in her lessons was did them in or having a moment where they're not believing in themselves. You say just get on with it. And I still hear now so on some of the things I do and I'm thinking am I capable and you know negative thoughts creep in, I hear LISTEN to His voice. So that sort of direct matter of fact approach kind of appeal to you. Absolutely. And just as you keep doing a little bit more and edging out your comfort zone. It's wider and bigger so you can tell Come on. So you build your confidence from actually doing things. So, you know, I didn't just get to Burnley, I did years of hard work to train to get to that level, to each level was out my comfort zone and pushing my boundaries. And suddenly I found myself at the highest of levels. And no, it was really exciting to get there. But so was all the milestones on the way. What was your vision after Bernie? Because Bernie is the pinnacle? What was your vision after that going forward? Yeah, I mean, it's a hard spot. It depends what horses you've got, what owners I had, and no, I had some great ones at the time. They're all homebred horses, and I produce them from young ones. So it is hard to say what the future had in store because I don't know, you know, the horses I had. Two of them would have been good enough that level, possibly others, but they've got to stay. Well, you know, when it's like when you're doing a sport at the top level, you've got injury risks when you event and you've got to review the horse on yourself. So who knows, but my goals would have been to go on from there compete again at Burleigh and badminton, the other Horse Trials at that level, I'd love to have made a team but you know, I don't know if that would have been possible or not. And I never will know. But it's certainly put me on into new directions. You mentioned about having to have you obviously the horse and yourself as an athlete. That's quite a curious one, isn't it? Because normally, when you're a professional athlete, you're kind of responsible unless you're in a team, you're responsible for your own performance. And the people at the top are those that have just got there themselves almost, or they've been lucky enough to be in a team. Whereas you're almost relying a little bit on having a decent horse at the time as well. Is that right? Yeah, it isn't, it's actually a very special sport. I don't think I'll ever find one quite like it. Because you are you're working like with an animal who can do its own thing doesn't have a break that you can press and, you know, it can do what they want to do on what they don't want to do. But the partnership you get when you get to that level, the trust they have in you. There's nothing like it. It was amazing. And, and the bond and the bad side to it was it left a massive gap in my life, because any sport at a high level takes up a lot of time and dedication and commitment. Horses take up even more, you know, even on Christmas Day and horses needed doing. It taught me discipline that I've put into many areas of my life. And I'm grateful for that valuable lesson. Can you take us back to was it 2007? When you had your accident? Describe a little bit about how that happened? Yeah, absolutely. I was competing at hospitals trying not to insure, and there's an event or compete that loads of times before wasn't particularly worried about it was a training event for bigger one coming up. And I set off on a cross country course and the woodland tracks split into two. And my horse thought we were going one way was supposed to be going the other way. And he just clicked his shoulder on the tree. And it flung me into the tree. And when I hit the ground, I knew I was paralysed, I knew all those goals and dreams and ambitions I've got for the future just come to a grinding halt. And no, I think a background has been a chiropractor, you know, had a fair idea about the human body and stuff. And I knew that was totally life changing. And that was you had the awareness in that moment that things have changed. Yeah, I mean, you always hope you're one of the ones that recover. And I did for quite a while and I knew that if it came down to determination, I'd learned enough through my sport, to keep going when things got tough, and I put everything into it. But that ended day I damaged my spinal cord badly and didn't get any recovery with movement or sensation. So I'm paralysed from the chest down to have no movement or any sensation from the chest down. What were the range of emotions that you experienced over the course of the next couple of days and you were told that you would never walk again? Right? Absolutely. So I was airlifted to the Queen's medical in Nottingham. And that's where they operated me. They put titanium rods into my spine at T four level which is basically the vertebra round chest level. And I also fractured my neck fractured ribs punctured a lung. I ended up getting pneumonia. I was in intensive care for 10 days and really poorly but it was the night I was in there. They operated on me the first first night and they came in after that and told me words that in wanting they told me it was highly unlikely I'd ever walk again. But of course it's actually far more than that. Walk is just one aspect of it. I also wouldn't compete my horses. I wouldn't work as a chiropractor again. There's so many things I wouldn't dance the night away with my mates on the dance floor again, so many things that came to stop from that accident and also affects everything from my injury level down ready. So bowel and bladder won't work properly. Again, temperature regulation blood pressure's affected nearly everything. So just being told you can't walk again was a massive thing. But actually the list was so so long and there's a lot to get your head around and Initially, I didn't think I didn't cry for quite a long time. Because the shock of it and, and then I felt so poorly. And I can't remember the first few days. I think it hits you more, but later on it did for me anyway. And it's scary, you know, you kind of got your life mapped out as 27. And, and then suddenly, it's like going back to scratch yet with a totally different body as well. So there's a lot to get my head around. And, you know, it's not an overnight thing of coming to terms with it with an injury like, Yeah, I mean, I guess you lose your identity and your sport and the sum of the relationships as they were as well around it. Just wondering what was the impact to your confidence, your self esteem at that stage? Were there things that you were telling yourself on from an internal dialogue point of view that sort of spiralled you down at all? Yes, I had a massive impact on my confidence and self esteem. Now, I felt like I'd lost my identity as well. And like, no, what was I now just someone 27 sat in a wheelchair, not moving was like going to put on weight, there was not going to be active anymore. I never sat still for a second before my accident. And then my relationship had been with someone for years, and it has an impact and everyone around you. And that was falling apart. It might have done anyway, because you don't know. But at the time, it was like another setback. I knew I had to finish the relationship in order to move on. Because being with someone you don't feel wants to be with you doesn't do confidence, any good. As well as everything else I was dealing with. So yeah, it had an impact in really every area of my life. And no, I didn't have a reason to get up. And some of the challenges I've done, everyone will think they was my toughest challenges. But just getting out of bed when I had no reason to get up and do anything, just sit in a wheelchair. They were my toughest times by a long way. So how did you then like where did the rebuild start? So I did it by taking every little opportunity. And it wouldn't seem like much to most people like going out for lunch with friends, for example. It's very easy to say no, when you're feeling sorry for yourself sad and all the emotions that I went through, it'd be very easy to stay in the same for was thinking why me and dwelling on all the things I'd lost. But most of time I'd make myself go out and see people leave the house. And you know, on hindsight, I never felt proud of myself for doing that. And I should have done because if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have the life that I've got now is the first few kind of pieces to the jigsaw describe it as getting to the bigger picture to getting to where you want to be, you've got to put all the pieces in. And these were the first few pieces just going out the house. And you know, it's important part of it. And then I got offered a job in an office close to where I live wasn't my dream job, I could have done it when I was 16. I've had four years at university training to be a chiropractor. But again, I took that opportunity. And even on the days I didn't feel like it I'd go into the office. And I always felt better for that. So they were huge things. But I didn't realise necessarily at the time, I thought I was going a bit backwards. But you know, sometimes that's that backwards in a life moves us forward. And that's exactly what happened. What made you do that though? Because if even if you weren't intentionally doing it at the time, you were doing something quite special. I'm just wondering, like, where did that come from that instinct. I think it came from discipline and willpower that I'd learned from horses. It's like, No, I knew that. I'm still here. My injury hadn't killed me nearly did, but it didn't. And if I wanted to turn my life around, I was gonna have to do those things as small things I didn't know that the future would be quite like it was I wish I did at the time, it would have made things a hell of a lot easier. But you know, it's never going to get better if I just gave in. So it was fighting to move forwards, I think and yeah, make making myself even on the days that I didn't feel like it is just discipline, you know, but even now, I just got him from hand cycling. And I don't always feel like going and hand cycling. And again, you know, sometimes you just have to make yourself do things because you know the outcome is going to be worth it. It takes some courage I just reading about everything that you do for the charities and for people with disabilities pipe spinal injuries, but outside of that scope as right, it takes a lot of courage to accept your situation and still be a powerful voice in that arena. I'm just interested to know like, how do you approach your work that you do nowadays with such like an emotional vested interest in it? Yeah, I absolutely love it. It's yeah, it's another thing that my accent has led me on to do. So I got the job in the office and I did that up to the when I did the London Marathon. And that was another turning point in my life when I did that. I did it in 17 days using the robotic suits I walk the course. And that's led me on to being a motivational speaker and going out and doing the in the keynote speaker a lot of events is just the most incredible feeling because when I chat to people after actually making a difference And it's not always to do with spinal injuries and disability, there's a whole lot of things for people just finding the confidence to take the next step in their careers, believing in themselves. You know, we all have ups and downs in life. And I think I can use my story to show people that, you know, if you keep pushing forward, you can do things that would have once felt, you know, an imagine upon, not, you know, the puck thought you couldn't even do that, certainly where I've gone with my life. Now, I do things now that when I was lying in hospital, I certainly didn't think I'd be doing and, and, you know, like I said, my relationship fell apart. But I met my husband just a year after my accident, on a dating website, pay 20 quid for that was that job. So you have to be proactive sometimes. And it's a bit of a fun example of how to do it. But you know, he wasn't gonna come knocking on the door. So I was doing a lot of rehabbing a standing flame board. And one of my friends had accidentally clicked on an advert I think it was on Facebook or something. So I thought, I'll fill out the profile got nothing else to do. It was really an experiment, see if anyone would bother with someone in a wheelchair. And I got a message from Dan after three days and, and I did already I went to look at his profile. I thought he looked so light, but I went to read his message and yeah, to pay 20 quid and I wasn't very keen. I was like, oh, no, I'm not wasting 20 pounds. But all my friends persuaded me to and, and yeah, got down. And then we've got two little girls. And that's a little actually nouns turned 12 today, so I've got a year left before she becomes a teenager that will bring a whole new meat birds class challenge, which has usually been the events that I've done, but I'm gonna have a teen years time. So there we are. So yeah, is all those things. There's kind of got me to where I am now. Because the fundraising the challenges will be nothing without my family. And that's what drives me on to do everything I do as well. And plus, they telling me to hurry up. I'm slow when they spin out walking. How did that? How did that opportunity come about for the London Marathon? Because I know that you teamed up with quite a pioneering company with that bionic suit. But how did how did you cultivate that opportunity? It sounds like an incredible achievement in itself. I still did all my rehab for a long time i Who knew I wanted to get everything I got, like I said, But I realised, you know, a few months in, I wasn't going to get any movement or sensation back. But I knew that I'd keep me fit and healthy or help keep me fit and healthy to prevent things like pressure sores, and circulation problems. So even now, there's things that I do to keep keep the parts that are paralysed in as good condition as possible. And when I saw the ReWalk suit on the internet, I thought they're brilliant bit of kit as a rehab tool to stand up and take steps, but also as a fundraising bit of kit. Because I'd already started fundraising on a lower level it's about to come. But it's made in Israel and it wasn't in the UK and I emailed the company, I managed to fundraise through the help of the amazing the question well got behind me and Matt Hampson Foundation, who helps injure sports people managed to get the money, so we need to get it in the UK. Anyway, it didn't look like it's gonna happen in time. But eventually, I managed to get it here in a rehab centre. And I led to the London Marathon, because I thought that would encourage them to get it here. So I did I had 12 weeks to learn to walk in it, I was absolutely useless at it. Because even trust in your legs are there, when you can't feel the ground beneath you, you know, you're quite vulnerable in the suit. Because if I lean a little bit too far back, I'm just gonna fall straight backwards. And if you're too far forward, the weight through your arms is agony for that long. And it doesn't just walk for you use the parts that aren't paralysed to shift your weight. So it waits for my introduction for every step where I can't even feel where my legs are. So it was it took a lot of mental concentration and focus, as well as physically hard work on my upper body. But I stuck with it. And eventually I got better, not a lot better, but a bit better. And I just went with the mindset, every step will get me a step closer to the finish. It took me 17 days, but I was out there all day, making my way to the finish line. And the support that I got when I was out there still makes me feel emotional now because it was just surreal. The whole thing's was pretty amazing experience. The walking was so enjoyable, but the actual raising the money and the support and the feeling of getting to the finish line was amazing. What did that experience teach you on your journey to give you any other insights that you weren't aware of at the time? It taught me that people are incredibly generous. I think that's one thing my accident has shown me the the way people get behind some of the things that I've done is amazing. And, you know, if they hadn't it wouldn't have been the challenge. It was it was down to everyone else. I just put lots of steps together. Which got me to the finish line. I think it taught me that. You know if you keep chipping away at a goal You get there in the end, you don't have to be best at things. Another thing and I'd say to my children, no, it's about having a go and a personal goal. For me, it felt amazing that I'd actually use my own legs to get to the finish line, you know, from my feet. Yeah. So now you don't have to be the best that things I've done that with all the challenges, since I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. So don't actually do anything well, but I'll give things a go. And I don't let being you know not so good. Put me off. I just keep chipping away and learning and willing to put in the effort, I think I want to take a few seconds to talk 2040, the sponsors of this podcast, because to me, they're the epitome of what high performance is for young leaders and decision makers looking to make a mark. So 2040 is a membership community that doesn't just help you accelerate professionally. But it's also helped me grow and develop personally to bowl intensive purposes. This is an opportunity community. And it brings together the next generation of exceptional young talent and connects those rising decision makers to help them unlock their fullest potential through the power of their peers and creating the opportunity for each other. Now, when I joined 2014, I went from feeling alone in my entrepreneurial journey and missing the energy and the ideas and a collaboration of others, to having an endless new source of high quality connections. Super long list of the world's highest performers to interview which has been epic. And even this partnership that has allowed us to scale the show, all of its really come from the opportunities presented at 2040. Also, the private events are absolutely legendary. Imagine being able to meet like minded people at really intimate events hosted by global industry leaders, or even just rocking up to a Friday afternoon, we work session for a free bear. It's all available at 2040. So if you're on that journey, as an entrepreneur or a decision maker in your industry, and you want to be immersed by people like yourself, other rising talent doing the same, going through the same journey and the same struggles with all the opportunities that that provides, go and check out 20 code on forty.org.uk. All the links will be in the show notes. And I bet it will be the best decision you make this year. It certainly was for me back to the show. There's no fear of judgement from other people because I I kind of guessed that, as you're someone who's been so accomplished in a sport and being at the top of her sport, and then to be maybe seen doing something different in a different environment and looking different to how people remember you. Was there anything mindset wise that came up around that? Not in the challenges so much by then I got my confidence back I got I love skiing, I found skiing so that that made a massive difference to me, because as I got better at it, I did fall all the time to start with but even that, because gave me a focus, I wanted to get better. So it made me feel like my old self and, and as I got better, my you know, self esteem came back and everything. So it's a big part to get in where I am. But in the early days, yeah, I felt so embarrassed in the first year or so. But my situation and seeing people, you know, go to some of the horse shows and the year before I was competing, and now I was struggling to get around on the grass wheelchairs and grass didn't go too well. I was struggling to get around and eat help. And it was awful. I felt so awkward and embarrassed about my situation. But as I rebuilt my life, I don't feel that my disability defines me. It's not who I am and, and stuff. And I have a very balanced life a lot of variation. So no, I don't feel like that about the challenges. I just get out there and do my best. And I don't really care what people think it's just me doing my trying to raise money and make a difference to other people. Yeah, I love that. And, you know, my, my mother got diagnosed with MS and spent 10 years, I think trying to deny the fact that she was ill and she needed a wheelchair and she needed assistance. And she never really saw herself as anything other than able bodied even when she couldn't move a lot of body. And I'm just kind of intrigued what what what would you tell people that are listening and getting inspired, as I know that they will be getting inspired, but who are potentially maybe feeling a bit of fear around putting themselves out there again? Yeah, you know, I think our biggest limitation is ourself. So I went through a process after my accident of grieving for what I lost, and then accepting what has happened to me. And then finally adapting. And now I think of it like 15 years on from accident, nothing has changed in terms of my disability, I'm still paralysed from the chest down. But one thing did change. And that was my mindset. And so I'm going through that process. And if I hadn't got my mindset around it, and started to focus on what I could do rather than what I couldn't, then I wouldn't be sharing this story with you now. It'd be a very, very different story. Most of it is what you think and how you cope with something that said it takes time that you know, I didn't wake up in the morning after a spinal injury. I'm Gotta give this everything I've got, I had tears I lent on people, I shared how I felt, and I went through a roller coaster of emotions. But it took time. And gradually, I pieced all those jigsaw pieces together to, to rebuild. And now I love the quote, tough times don't have to define you, but they can redefine you. And that's exactly what's happened. No, I'm not held back by my disability. I, I have things now on my CV that I couldn't do before. So in that way, I'm more able. But there's obviously things I can't do as well, but I don't, my life is full of all the things that that are possible. Do you have any daily habits or mechanisms that you put in place now that helped you sort of thrive not even just cope, but absolutely thrive in the presence of the physical and emotional challenges that you're going through? Are there any habits that you've put in place now that not not only exercise, but at least exercising fresh air? There are two things that I lost a bit when I had my accident because I had no reason to go outside. And Mum used to say, being a real outside personal farming family, I was always outdoors, do my opponents being active, and suddenly I'd lost that. And Mum used to say, no, just get outside, just go and get some fresh air. And that first year and I say to sit on the ramp, like a disabled person, you know, I hadn't eaten, I'd like just park myself outside and do what because I'm a doer. So when I started to find things that I could do, and handcycling is one of the things that I do, again, not too high level, I don't have any desire to be the best at it, I just go out and get that daily exercise and fresh air. And that's where I've just been an hour's exercise set you up for the day. Of course, my day actually starts by trying to get my kids out of the house on time and brush their teeth and hair and get the school back together and the same nagging every morning. But then yeah, then if I if I'm at home or not away speaking or doing something else, then it'd be exercise sets me up for the day. It sounds like you had that identity, obviously, the strong identity from being a sports woman and we all everyone that sort of has a drive and ambition probably has an identity and something that they do. And then you also sounded like you nearly adopted identity as a say, a disabled person early on, and then was able to almost dump or park that identity and redefine it again. What What was that process like? Like, how did you how did you sort of not attached to an identity and actually go in a different direction? I think you know, with my accident, and what happened to me and what I did before, I found it very hard to go back to my old life. Because I couldn't I did write again. By the way, I was back on a horse 12 weeks after my accident. And everyone was saying to me, that must be amazing to be back on but it wasn't because I still felt like the same person. So two thirds of my body didn't work. But I felt I still wanted to jump the big fences and do the exciting competitions, not walk and trot on a quiet horse. So it didn't give me a boost. So that's why really in everyone in the early days of me suggesting still things clinging on to my old life. And I decided I need to do completely new things because I had no comparison to how I would have done it and and I think when I did ride, I did a whole summer of it after I had the 2012 Paralympic selectors come and see me about possibly aiming for that give me a goal, which I appreciated, but I knew it wasn't really for me because it was never it would never compare to what I did, where it was the things and the direction I've gone I've been totally new to me. So learning to fly riding a motorbike none of these things I did before maps then. And I also love the sports that I've chosen because I can go and do it with anyone really family, I go skiing and I'm with my girls and my husband and my mum and dad. And the same you know you go to a airfield and just round everyone it's not I don't have to be held back because of my disability. Same on the track day, mainly men able bodied bit Velcro, my knee toe clip and a gear shifter. Once a mountain track you wouldn't know as paralysed. So I love the fact that I don't feel like it holds me back. Or I feel like I have to do it with everyone with an injury. I can be out there with everyone else. And for me some people love doing the wheelchair sports and that's right for them. I love the fact that I'm just out there. My My disability is really not part of what I do. I have to do it differently with hand controls and adaptions. But you wouldn't know from the sports I do. How's the how's the flying going? I'm kind of intrigued to understand how that works in how it's going for you. Yeah, so a little bit different to you. I fly a little flexing microlight. I haven't adapted. So I have a throttle on the bar, control bar. And then what you normally do that with your feet, and the same with the steering and the brake is on my other hand, so sometimes I feel like I need a third arm and hands. You know, I haven't done it any other way. So just is my normal. And yeah, I started that just before COVID and lockdown so it's been on and off learning for Live big breaks. But I finally got my licence in January last year. Although it's a restricted licence, I've got to cross country flights to do which I'm should do any time soon been clocking up my solo hours. And yeah, you know, it takes me about really like when I when I think like London marathon a lot of the things I do is literally step by step. So I remember being with my instructor three or four lessons in looking down from like, three and a half 1000 feet, thinking I never want to be up here on my own and all this radio stuff. And it all seems so daunting. But of course I didn't at that point. But then when you put a lesson attached to a lesson lesson, finally comes that day way says right, I'm getting out today you're on your own and, and that's I think one thing I'd say is, we can so often put ourselves off from thinking so far ahead too early, I got my goal of getting my licence, but then just break it down. And just don't keep thinking of that just enjoy the process of learning, because that's how it's been with all of them. You know, once I couldn't, I kept falling off the motorbike. But if I stuck with it, I got good enough to get my race licence, I could get out on the track day and, and that's been the aim. And it's all to raise money, really. So my fly and I've got logos all over my flying suit that companies and personal donations, and I've raised around 14,000 pounds so far. And also, it's actually my whole package of learning to fly was bought by someone what listened to me speaking at an event. So I've been very, very lucky like that. And then but I like to use it to help others in the future. Amazing. And yeah, I think going back to that flying analogy, it's quite easy, because you have such a defined lesson plan that you don't get too far ahead, because you're just focusing on what am I learning about this week X, Y, and Zed and it's kind of quite defined, whereas I guess a lot of people they have a vision, but then they have no clear path to get there. And it feels quite overwhelming a lot of the time. And I love your idea of sort of chunking it down into really, really small bits and just chipping away. Exactly, there's like that in the London Marathon, I could always get to the next lamppost and never look too far, you can always get there. And it's just the same, you know, and all those lampposts put together, you get to your finish line and, and that's what it was like with the fly in, in those. To be honest with something like that I didn't want him to send me solo before he really was 110% or so I was never Richins I never got to the point when thinking how much longer have I got to do this? Because, you know, safety comes first with all of these things, and, and not how quickly I can do it. And I haven't done it in the quickest number of hours. And people say how many hours did it take to qualify? You know, to me, that's not really doesn't matter. I couldn't care less if it in 40 hours or 120, you get to the same point. And that's the thing not to let that be their big focus. It doesn't matter the end of the day, you qualify as a pilot, whether you do it in 40 hours or 120. I always think you're never ready for your next flight as well. And when I when I say that to people, what I mean is that when they send you solo, for instance, you never feel like you're ready for that solo. You just you look over when they tell you to take off and you're just like what, why am I going up on my own? I don't know what I'm doing. And then you just follow the process step by step by step until you land again. And then by the time you've finished it, that's when you're ready. Exactly. So true. It's so true. Even now live in climate and still very inexperienced. But I'm up then I think how am I actually appeal my own? Yeah, you look up here on my own. It's nothing short of a miracle. But yeah, that is it's just a learning thing. And you know, if you're willing to stick with it, and there will be days where you don't perform quite as well. I learned that with horses, it doesn't go to plan. One minute with horses you win in next minute. You're on your backside. No, it isn't. It's about that when it doesn't go to plan and that's is that stickability and dedication and discipline that can get you to where you want to be not giving up. Yeah, I love that. And you've achieved some utterly incredible things. You've talked about flying and like the London Marathon you've raised 1000s of 1000s for charity as well. I know that you also met your husband after your accident had to I'm guessing beautiful kids just improvising on that one but and receive received an MBE for all the amazing work you've done and the rich life that you've you've lived that allowed others to live? I'm kind of intrigued to understand. Would you still take back the accident? Now if you could, I wouldn't change my life or anything. Because a it's taught me a hell of a lot. It's taught me what's important in life. I probably wouldn't have met Dan, because I wouldn't have been strapped into a standing frame board and signed on for an inch. I would have been invented so I wouldn't have amazing clothing in my life. So why would I change it back if I could and also I wouldn't have done the things that I've done. I would I would never know what I would have done. But there's good chance I'd have still been riding horses. I loved it. I wouldn't change it for the world. I did it but it no I was forced to try different things and, and I think still learning new things is so good for you, when you're old, your kids go off to all these clubs and they always try new things. And you do when you're younger. And it's very easy to get set in your ways. As you get older, you think like, this is my job. These are my hobbies and not try new things. And I've been forced into having an open mind and trying things that I'd never considered. So did I have any burning desire to be a pilot? Absolutely not. Did I want to ride motorbikes? Absolutely not, you know, I wanted to ride horses. That's all I could have thought of right up to my accident, and for a few few months after, but if I was going to move forward, I had to have an open mind and be willing to try things. And in I found that I love loads of things. So sometimes we can be quite closed. And and you know, it's a big world out there. There's so much you can do. And no, I wouldn't change my life back. Because because it closed a lot of doors. Yes, it was hard. It was heartbreaking. But it's opened even more. Yeah, well, it sounds like you've opened even more. And it's definitely a conscious decision at some stage, what have you got going on next, what's what's next for you to conquer. I am supposed to be doing a lap of the Northwest 200, which is a close race in Northern Ireland. And it's such an amazing opportunity. I'm so excited. It's in May. However, last week, I was just about to go on the stage at an event that half an hour before it's due to speak. And this I got this slide on my PowerPoint of the Northwest. And I saw someone attack me on Twitter. And all the Northern Ireland road races have been cancelled, because the insurance prices have gone up considerably. So I got went and asked, can you take that slide out, because I don't know what's happened. Since then, they've announced it's not cancelled yet. It's 5050 chance. So I'm really hoping it goes ahead, I will be absolutely petrified on the day. I've never ridden on a road, you know, you've got curbs trees, you know, like with trees, and people around you. So totally different. You got bumps on the track, it's much smoother. So I think a bit about karma been that they would be good too. So I'm hoping that happens, because I think it'd be a brilliant fundraiser. Thornton push me myself out the comfort zone and something I could just never do, unless it's at a load late at night, and they invite me to do it. So the opportunity is there, the organisers have been brilliant, trying the best for it to go ahead. So fingers crossed, I think we're here in the next week or two fingers crossed, I'm definitely going to be keeping my eyes open for that one. And I'm sure you'll have a contingency plan. If that fails, there's one thing that horses do is, you know, you're never then to leave the stock box or enter the arena with a horse, they can go lame at the last minute. So, you know, I've had that in my life before my accident that, you know, it teaches you how to deal with disappointment. So we'll be disappointed. But you have to find a plan b Don't use that's what I'll do. But everything's crossed. Amazing. Before we go, Claire, we do have some quickfire questions for you. The first one is one piece of advice you would tell your younger self before starting out, you know if life doesn't go to plan, which it won't at some point for everyone. There's always another route, there's always another path and another opportunity. So make sure you find that one mantra or belief that has enabled your high performance life. I would say to believe in yourself, no matter what obstacles you face bumps in the road, to really believe that you can get through it. Because your mindset is everything. And how you tackle something amazing. One ingredient or habit that continues to contribute to the success that you have the most exercise exercise. I'd say that the two things that make you more productive makes me healthier mentally, physically. Yes, that's a big part of my life. And I you know, I'm aware of my upper body not overusing that I just do a nice amount that keeps me keeps me well. And finally, what's your go to tune or artists for a tough training session? Or maybe even what you what you resorted to when you were doing the London Marathon? Was there any any tune that that helped you through it? Well, we had such a fun soundtrack when we're doing the water. I wasn't just London mountain I did the Great North Run in five days Manchester marathon in nine days. Great South run all over through the night and 24 hours. So we've got a really good soundtrack. It does keep going. So I think The Proclaimers or what 500 Miles was played a million times and kept me walking. I love that it's going on is going on to the performance hacker soundtrack now as well. So appreciate that. Having seen the realities of a super healthy woman in my mother, who was very strong willed, very able bodied and having her life flipped around and becoming wheelchair bound. I just want to say thank you so much for not only everything you've achieved and you continue to achieve, I mean it's absolutely awe inspiring, but also for inspiring, more than just people that are in similar situations to you but inspiring people like me, and the people that Listen to the show as well. So thank you so much for for everything you continue to do and the energy that you show up in life that as well because even today, like you've probably bounced around and given off way more energy than I have. So that's definitely something that I can I can look at you and say thank you very much for role modelling the way that you show up in life. Thank you so much and it's been absolute pleasure to join you, Scott. Thank you